Thank you for contacting us and we emphasize our interest in submitting what can be to serve the truth and reality. We want to draw your attention to an important issue in your journey to seek the truth and pick the right path which is that you should search for the evidences that each side claims to prove the correctness of its views. So, you should search for what the Shia give as proof of the obligation of following the Ahlulbait after the death of the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) and do not look for the details at the present stage. Once the arguments are proven to you and you choose to follow the Ahlulbait, then you can look for explanations of their practices. If you are convinced, you can practice them, otherwise you can refuse to practice them. If you were to start searching for the explanations for the details of the practices then this might confuse you more. The thing that the Imams of the Ahlulbait emphasized on is the mourning and expressing pain and passion because of the oppression that the Ahlubait were subjected to, and the tragedies and hardships they faced. The course of practice that believers choose to express the mentioned obligation is entirely personal. Some express their feelings towards Imam Hussein (peace be upon him) and his companions and his household by crying, expressing their sadness and wearing black clothes. Others do so by slapping their chests. Some others self-flagellate to the extent of bleeding as a way to express their grief and sorrow, mourning for the Imam and his family and companions as they were killed and stabbed with spears, swords and arrows.